Monday, July 21, 2014

Someone Must Save Us From The Ape Uprising!


Someone Must Save Us From The Ape Uprising!
I remember watching the first “Planet Of The Apes” when I was younger with my father and loving it even though the ending was spoiled for me long before thanks to a certain episode of “The Simpsons”. Once I finished the first movie I immediately watched the next 4 I as was just enamored with this universe. I know the movies have lots of crazy elements, political allegories, and take some weird tangents but as I kid I didn’t notice any of this; I just saw entertaining movies. That being said, I was actually excited for the 2001 Tim Burton remake. I remember seeing the posters for the movie and expecting a bigger version of the movies I loved so much. Of course, the movie came out and it was horrible.  Now 10 years later we finally have the start of a new Apes franchise and so far it has delivered. “The Apes” franchise being one of my favorites I decided I cannot just write a review of “Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes” but instead rank and discuss all of these movies that have entertained us since the 1960’s. I spent the last week re-watching all the “Apes” movies to get ready for this new one and that helped me put in context where this one ranks amongst them all.

HONORABLE MENTION – “Planet Of The Apes – The Musical”

Suffice it to say this short “Simpsons” clip has brought me joy my whole life. I sweat I had the “Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius” musical number in my head for the last month with the buildup of the new film. This short clip of the musical the show gives us is just a clever take on the original movie and has made all fans of that movie happy since it aired.

8.) Planet Of The Apes (2001) – Tim Burton

There are not many good things to say about this movie. The one and only positive aspect of this entire film was that at least the monkeys were not CGI but men in costume. The CGI is great in the new films but it felt really cool to see someone take the practical approach of the original series and improve on it with all the new techniques that had been discovered in that time. Outside of that this movie just had too many flaws, more then I care to mention as others have rehashed them since it was released. I will say my biggest gripe was that the humans all talk. The original “Apes” had humans treated as animals because for all intended purposes they were. Those humans could not talk and did not have rational thought. The Apes saw them and treated them as animals because that is how they acted. That is why Charlton Hesston’s character confused the Apes. He was man displaying abilities they had never seen in humans before. In Tim Burton’s version, the humans clearly have the power of speech and thought and yet the Apes treat them like morons who don’t have a soul. An Ape even states in the movie “Humans have no soul”. I completely believe if in our world Apes who could all walk, talk, and reason, we would not treat them the way we do right now. We would understand that apes are intelligent creatures and not something to be tested on. So why do the “Apes” in Tim Burtons movie treat humans like idiots I have never understood. Also what makes the humans different then Mark Whalburg once he arrives on the scene is not clearly evident. Someone suggests they see “something in his eyes”. I guess Mark’s eyes just scream intelligence or something, I am not sure. As you can see there is a lot wrong with this movie beginning at the basic idea of what the original movie was trying to say. However, if you are into seeing the budding romance between Mark Whalburg’s human and Helena Bonham Carters Ape then go ahead and watch this disaster.  

7.) Escape From The Planet Of The Apes

 Right off the bat I understand this may be a controversial decision. Many people believe this to be one of the better “Ape” movies in the franchise. I have placed this movie at 7 not because it isn’t enjoyable but because of its purpose in the franchise. This film is very entertaining as it shifts from comedy to dark drama so suddenly and does it well. This movie poses lots of ethical questions, like is it ok to murder innocent Apes if mankind may be saved from disaster hundreds of years into the future. This movie also has one of the darker endings as the humans murder our two hero apes and their just born child in cold blood. As viewers we care for these apes; they have been our audience surrogate since the first movie in the franchise. Cornelius and Zira have been the voice of reason for 3 movies and never hurt a fly. I should not care if they live, I should be rooting for the humans here as they are looking out for the race I belong to but I just do not. The apes here represent the good I want in the humans while our people show us exactly the root of our problem. We take drastic actions out of fear; fear that if we don’t kill these apes our future as the dominant race will end. Yet, by murdering the innocent we actually start in the motion the future we feared of.  That being said, why then do I place this movie so far down the list? The answer is that this is less of a movie and acts more like a bridge between the first 2 movies in the original franchise and the last 2 films of the franchise. This movie was made to find a way to extend this series after the earth was destroyed in #2 and achieves that. The series would go on after this and it still does today. As a bridge movie this film works, but it is still just a bridge movie. Also this is the only “Apes” movie that had only 2 apes. When I see a “Apes” movie I just need more Apes!  

6.) Battle For The Planet Of The Apes

This movie to me had the most potential that almost fulfilled its promise but was let down by a lack of budget. When this movie came out the “Apes” franchise was dying and so budgets were cut which really ate into this ambitious movie. The theme of this film was to finally see the beginnings of Ape culture and have them living side-by-side with the remaining humans in a sort of peace. From their view Apes let the humans live but under strict rules since they do not trust the race of men who until recently had enslaved them. Throughout the film we see some Apes beginning to act against Apes which shows that in the end all intelligent races will always end up being the same; there will be good and the bad. With the promise of a new intelligent species we witness also the beginning of history repeating itself as all races will repeat the evils of what came before. In addition, the Apes have to deal with a band of mutant humans who were altered by nuclear blasts as they try and reclaim the earth. In the end we have a battle of humans vs. apes vs. mutants and for some reason it all makes sense. This movie also continues to display the dark themes of this franchise as Caesars kids is murdered by another Ape to start a revolution among their clan.  For all these positive things, the film ends up being a little hokey due to the small budget. One wonders what might have been had the producers had the money to make what they wanted.

5.) Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes

Thanks to the constant marathons of the original franchise on SYFY in the last few weeks I have now seen this for what seems like 10 times. This film had the most action of any of the original movies and was just a bunch of fun. There are of a course a bunch of loop-holes and silliness that exist in this movie but I tend to ignore them. I mean what type of disease wipes out just all domesticated dogs and cats; are lions and wolves spared this mayhem? The movie also claims that in like the span of 10 years humans quickly made apes their pets and then just decided to make them our slaves. This movie takes place in an Ape conditioning center which means we were really efficient in starting this system so fast.  Add in the fact that I am supposed to believe Caesar gets all the Apes o understand him so fast is just ludicrous. Yet, for all these issues, the film is just a fun Ape vs. Man ride. That is pretty much the whole story as this movie had the smallest plot of almost all of the Ape movies. Add in what is an incredible performance by the great Ricardo Montalban as Armando and you will be entertained for the full running time.

4.) Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

I have been debating for days if I enjoyed this movie more than its predecessor “Rise” and came to the conclusion that it just does not rate higher. This is the second movie in the new and updated “Ape” movies and it is fantastic. This film is quite possibly the best movie of Summer 2014. As I watched this on screen I found myself just buying into everything this movie was selling. The basic plot of this movie is that it has been 10 years since the Simian Flu and the Apes who have a makeshift early society outside of San Francisco find out that there are in fact still humans on earth today. The conflict arises because the Apes do not trust humans and want to be left alone but the humans need a power plant nearby to become operational for their own survival.  Both sides have leaders trying to work things out and keep the peace while also having detractors who stir up trouble. What is great about this movie is that as an audience you can understand why each side is weary of the other, and don’t fully blame the detractors for starting trouble. For example, Koba is an ape who was used for experiments all his life by humans and he will never trust them. Suffice it to say things go wrong and both sides up at war.  What is so powerful though is that as a viewer is I didn’t want war. Sure I came to the movies to see an action flick, but an hour into the movie I liked both sides so much I didn’t want anyone to get hurt; that is some powerful filmmaking. Then once you add the brilliant special effects and the effective smaller side stories (such as Caesar’s son Blue Eyes learning that actions have consequences) I could only give this film an “A”. The question becomes then why didn’t I rate this higher than “Rise”?  I concluded that I believed everything going on in this universe because the world building of “Rise” was just so good. I rooted for the Apes because their origin story was so strong. I have re-watched “Rise” countless times and it always holds up. For those reasons I just couldn’t place it higher. The action here is stronger but the smaller moments within the Ape society just didn’t affect me the same way it did with Caesar hanging out with John Lithgow in “Rise”.

3.) Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

This was the movie that re-ignited the Apes franchise with a bang in the Summer of 2011. Going into the summer, everyone was skeptical about this movie; I was not. I was floored by the trailer and went into the movie expecting greatness. This film delivered an amazing origin story to a franchise I hold dear. Sure the special effects were great but that’s not what I rank a movie off on. The relationship between Caesar and his surrogate father played by James Franco and his surrogate Grandfather played by John Lithgow was excellent. Then you have moments that are breathtaking as we get to watch Caesar discover his true strength and ability for the first time in the Redwood Trees. This all happened during the first half of the movie, the second half deals with Caesar learning to become a leader with the others Apes that are trapped with him inside this “Ape Sanctuary”. I should add that how sad it is when Caesar is taken from his home due to a misunderstanding is heartbreaking, and that is the true strength of this movie. As a viewer you fall in love with a CGI Ape and root for it to kill humans. As I said, you don’t care about the sequel unless this movie set up Caesar in a way that makes you love him. This was the first in now what I hope is many more Ape movies because I bought this universe hook, line, and sinker.   

2.) Beneath The Planet Of The Apes

At first view people may be confused why I ranked this so high. The answer is quite simply because this is the one of the most weird and dark movies in the entire franchise.  When  I was younger I never thought this was a great movie, I figured it was just basically a rehash of the first film but with James Franciscus taking the place of Charlton Heston as the astronaut Brent. I recently re-watched this movie and discovered how wrong I was. Yes, the film repeats some of the same beats as the first movie but with one added dimension; mind reading mutants who worship an atomic bomb. It was always going to be hard to top the original movie, but by going weird this film is able to come real close. This allows all the future movies to be able to go for broke as well because this film proved you can take this universe into off-beat directions and audiences will come for the ride. The plot was pretty basic as it was Apes vs. Mutants with our heroes stuck in the middle. However, it’s quite sad that as much as we change as a society, we always end up back at the same place, war. This movie took war one step further and just decided to blow up the earth. As anyone could tell you, the last 15 minutes of this movie is about as genius as it gets and as dark as this franchise may ever end up going. To have a narrator end the movie mentioning the earth’s destruction and have it sound insignificant is like a punch in the gut. For all these reasons, I decided to make this my #2 Apes movie of all time.  

1.) Planet Of The Apes (1968)

Like there was ever any doubt that this would be ranked #1. Without this classic none of these other movies on my list would even exist. This was just a masterfully done film with a great performance by Charlton Heston.  By now everyone knows the plot of this movie and the twist ending that truly turned everyone’s word upside down. The more amazing thing is that even without that surprise ending, this movie is dam entertaining, You feel so angry that the Apes treat Hestons character of George Taylor so bad once he shows he can talk. You wonder why they refuse to believe he has a soul and act as if he doesn’t matter. To the Apes the humans are nothing but animals to be used at their will and no one (not even a smart human) will change that. That’s what is so great about this movie, its basically an allegory showing us how slaves were treated back in the days as owners just ignored these people their human rights. People forget that Rod Serling was a master of not just a surprise ending but by also using genre stories to show us the truth about our culture. I am not sure we will ever find a creator as genius as Serling and having him and Heston work together was just the perfect combo that made this silly movie idea work and be extraordinary.


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